Me: Hi. I’m trying to arrange to redeliver a parcel. I was here all morning but your driver took it to my next door neighbour who wasn’t home.
Company: Well, clearly that was your fault for not being home. You need to go log it on our website to organise the redelivery. You’ll get it next week.
Me: It’s still business hours now. Is it possible to get something done sooner than that? Can we arrange something while I'm on the phone?
Me: Why not?
Company: It's standard practice when you’re not home. It takes two days to redeliver.
Me: But I was home. Your driver went to my neighbour’s house.
Company: The driver said you weren’t home.
Me: He was wrong. There were two of us here, and I waited specifically for that parcel. No one came.
Company: The card says you weren’t home.
Me: Look, I understand your driver made a mistake. He went to the wrong house. But I’m home now. Why can’t you redeliver?
Company: Our truck would be a long way away by now.
Me: I’m not very impressed with your customer service here. You didn’t actually try to deliver my parcel to my house at all. Your driver never set foot on my property. Can I make a complaint?
Company: Sure. You can complain to the company you bought the item from.
Me: But they did their part, straight away. They contract you to deliver for them.
Company: We did deliver it. You weren’t home.
Me: Actually you tried to give my quite expensive item to my next door neighbour. For all you know he might have taken it. Can I please speak with your supervisor?
Company: No. They’re not here.
Me: Are you saying there’s no one more senior than you who can do anything about this?
Company: Sure. Leave your number and I’ll give it to my supervisor and they’ll call you back, for sure.
Me: When would that be?
Company: Next week.
Me: You know it would be quicker for me to buy another one and have that one delivered the next day.
Company: Uh huh.
Me: So what you’re telling me is that there’s nothing your company will do to fix a mistake that was yours in the first place?
Company: You can go to the website.
Me: OK, so you know there’s not actually any contact information on your website, don’t you? There’s no way to send an email, or make a query, or lodge a complaint?
Company: I’m about to go home soon.
Me: Hi. I’m trying to arrange to redeliver a parcel.
Company: Do you have the consignment number?
Company: hold on, that’s international. I’ll transfer you through.
Me: Ok. Hi. I’m trying to arrange to redeliver a parcel.
Company: I can see you’re in Adelaide.
Company: Sorry, you’ve been transferred through to Melbourne by mistake. Here’s a direct number you can call at the delivery warehouse in SA instead of going through our 13 number again. They’ll sort it out for you.
Before I had a chance to call, company calls me.
Company: Hello. I think we tried to deliver a parcel to you yesterday?
Company: Would you like us to redeliver that for you?
Me: Yes please.
Company: Is tomorrow ok?
Company: Alrighty then. We’ll do that.
Me: Well that was easy.